Open Letter To Rose Levy Beranbaum
You have guided me for longer than I care to reveal. Your recipes have inspired me to create birthday celebrations at an unreasonable scale. I have made baskets out of spun sugar, I have molded tempered chocolate into cake coverings, I have erected a wedding cake after just six months and twenty practice cakes. You have taught me that nobody really likes to eat fondant although it's pretty to look at. Rose, Rose, Rose.
I've made classic buttercream, neo-classic buttercream and four types of mousselines. They all spread and taste incredible. (Given the amount of butter, really, how bad can they really taste even if you were to screw up?) So, Rose, why can't I get my buttercream to pipe better?
Why do my roses turn out less than perfect?
I can make a rose out of chocolate paste that actually looks like a rose. But when I try to create a simple rose, or any other flower for that matter, from any of your buttercream recipes, they droop, fade, fall and lose shape?
The only tips you have for butter creams in your book involve what to do if your frosting curdles or cracks. Rose, my buttercreames never, never curdle. Rose, a monkey can make a buttercream without it curdling so long as you let the candy thermometer hit 238.
I'm waiting, Rose.
I'm not making another cake until you let me know what to do.